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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:17 pm. |
| Mood: | weird. |
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Punk Pee Pee 666 [11:13 P.M.]: ................times change and so do people ...but i love you.....ponatoes and walks with u to baskin & robbins on a rainy day......
"[me]<3" [11:14 P.M.]: i love you too.. and i miss you..
Punk Pee Pee 666 signed off at 11:14 P.M.
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Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
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| Time: | 5:26 pm. |
| Mood: | amused. |
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AngelLuciferKira [4:49 PM]: I NEED HELP PuNkRoCpYrO136 [4:49 PM]: ok how can i help you. AngelLuciferKira [4:50 PM]: LOL WHAT THE FUCK R U THE FUCKING OPERATOR NOW PuNkRoCpYrO136 [4:50 PM]: YES IM THE MOTHERFUCKING OPERATOR NOW HOW THE FUCK MAY I HELP YOU. AngelLuciferKira [4:51 PM]: i want a party line
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Monday, January 17th, 2005
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Monday, January 10th, 2005
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im home from school too tired to go. too lazy to do my work. too impatient too deal with teachers. too stupid to understand. Xx.::.xX all this time has passed and i still love you. so im sitting here. your ring on my finger. about 3 sizes too big. and i bet. you think i've forgotten. but its hard to do. when your all i think about. the simplest things. are what remind me of you. Xx.::.xX
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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| Time: | 1:00 am. |
| Mood: | pissed off. |
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fuck new years fuck people fuck plans fuck drinking fuck parents fuck clothes fuck money fuck crying fuck blogs fuck you fuck me fuck it fuck cutting fuck worrying fuck caring i give up. i dont give a shit anymore i dont care i dont care i DONT CARE
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Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
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| Time: | 12:02 pm. |
| Mood: | amused. |
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joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob.joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob.joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob.joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob.joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob. joose lies. hes too busy for melbob.but its ok because uhmm.. it just is
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Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
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| Time: | 12:47 am. |
| Mood: | amused. |
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PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:24 AM]: but seriously what am i getting you for christmas AngelLuciferKira [12:24 AM]: </font>jester PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:24 AM]: NO </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:24 AM]: i refuse its scary </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:24 AM]: I WANT THE DOLL PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:24 AM]: NOOOOOOO </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:25 AM]: I DONT GIVE A SHITY </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:25 AM]: **SHIT </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:25 AM]: brb </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:25 AM]: eBay Store - VEKZAR: Category 2 Neck AngelLuciferKira [12:25 AM]: check out these collars AngelLuciferKira [12:28 AM]: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5542175140 AngelLuciferKira [12:28 AM]: shit is so hot AngelLuciferKira [12:29 AM]: I WANT THE FUCKING DOLL PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:29 AM]: robbie i am not getting you that fucking doll </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:30 AM]: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5542175140 AngelLuciferKira [12:30 AM]: ooo check this out PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:30 AM]: pretty </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:30 AM]: but your mom willl throw it out </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:31 AM]: ive gotten skilled with hiding AngelLuciferKira [12:31 AM]: i want a hoe for christmas AngelLuciferKira [12:31 AM]: or that cute lil puppet AngelLuciferKira [12:31 AM]: give or take PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:33 AM]: lmao </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:33 AM]: cant i just go to trash or 8th street and get you a nice shirt or something???? </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:33 AM]: or that cute lil doll AngelLuciferKira [12:34 AM]: thats teh size of my hand and ocmpletelt inexpensive PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:34 AM]: or not </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:34 AM]: GIMME TEH DOLL PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:34 AM]: lmfao </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:35 AM]: NOOOOOO </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:35 AM]: grrrrrrr </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:35 AM]: THE UFCKING DOLL THATS WHAT I WANT I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:35 AM]: ok fine... you buy the goddamned doll and ill py for it and the shippin but i dont wanna see it </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:35 AM]: ok buy it and send it to my house PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:35 AM]: ok.. you gotta come to my house and do it .. i refuse </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:35 AM]: but im carriein him everywhere AngelLuciferKira [12:36 AM]: ok heres the deal PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:36 AM]: you will not carry him everywhere if i see him.. i throw him in the sewer </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:36 AM]: u do everything and send him here and i wont ever bring him near you AngelLuciferKira [12:36 AM]: an di will act all surprised and love him and my mom will gag PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:36 AM]: ok. sounds like a plan. </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:36 AM]: send the link </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:37 AM]: TOYS AngelLuciferKira [12:41 AM]: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=348&item=5943918838&rd=1 AngelLuciferKira [12:41 AM]: its eithe rjester or this one and i know u would rather pick jester PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:42 AM]: i hate both. so you pick </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:42 AM]: jester lol AngelLuciferKira [12:42 AM]: i just wanted to see what you would say about totem PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:42 AM]: ok </font>PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:43 AM]: ok serisouly. robbie... did it even matter to you at all what i thought? cuz we know you were getting which ever you wanted no matter what i said lol </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:44 AM]: i was hopin for a O NO ROBBIE UR NOT GETTIN TEH UFCKIN DEMON LOOKIN PUPPET U SICK DEMONIC BASTARD OVER MY DEAD BODY PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:45 AM]: NO ROBBIE UR NOT GETTIN THE FUCKIN DEMON LOOKIN PUPPET U SICK DEMONIC BASTARD OVER MY DEAD BODY AngelLuciferKira [12:45 AM]: ok yea im out have a big day tommorow AngelLuciferKira [12:45 AM]: yes then i will get jester the cute clownish lookin puppet PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:45 AM]: nite love you tons muahZz i miss you more though </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:45 AM]: with the three section spinning face PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:45 AM]: omg ew </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:46 AM]: and teh lil scyth staff PuNkRoCpYrO136 [12:46 AM]: shuddap before i say fuck it and you get niether </font>AngelLuciferKira [12:46 AM]: ok n ight love u AngelLuciferKira [12:46 AM]: muahz AngelLuciferKira signed off at 12:46 AM
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Friday, December 17th, 2004
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so. i dont know why she lets him treat her like that. but thats none of my business. Umm. School sucks i have no will i dont know what im failing or passing. i dont even care. i should just go to Moojs school. or to public school.
i think about this person alot still. but he doesnt know that. but it doesnt matter either. cuz he doesnt care. so therefore i should bother caring. right? right! too bad its easier said than done. but whatever. it took me until not long ago to realize that i guess my mom wsnt lying. i really cant have everything i want i dont always believe that though.
Every time I breathe I breathe for you And every time I see I see for you And everything I do I do for you And everything I do makes it All come down Everytime you're near me I feel I'm crashing down...
anyway. my mom is bitching about something. i dont give a shit. really. But not right now. i can't take it why is she screaming. so unnecessary, really it is. She doesnt want me to go to Sammys house because she doesnt want me to smoke or drink or catch contact. But its Tiaras birthday. im doing it anyway. I think she'll love her gift. alot. But saturday at 2 i have to go to some stupid play thing my lil brother is in. then go visit my niece. then im going to hang out.
i have shopping to do. i hate it. so much. i should really finsih wrapping these gifts and go take my shower. but no. im going to sit here and rant like it really matters. like you really care. like this is really helping me release anything building up.
and i realized. that no matter how much i cry or write or talk about whats building up. i never let more than 1/2 of it out. never. never could. too afraid. too unwilling. too childish. too self conscious. too much time. too many things to tell. too many psychiatrists. too much anger management. too many misunderstandings. too many broken promises. too many lies. too many people. way too many people.
i get that feeling. the one that makes me wanna sit in my shower until all the water is red and i cant see my feet anymore. but i like being able to see my feet. most of the time. and i like my parents thinking im okay again. because when i see them. i smile. not for my benefit but for theirs. i think
welcomeTOmyDAY♥
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Thursday, December 16th, 2004
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 rain + bangs = meSsyneSs
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Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
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eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: i'm wearing these tight spandex shorts eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: that only go down like half way down my thigh eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: and they're really tight eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: and you can see my whole shape and all that and i sound like a girl eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: but they're so comfy PuNkRoCpYrO136 [1:15 AM]: uhmmm why? o.0^ eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: i like tight stuff eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: i thought you knew that already eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: ?? eL RoosteR 86 [1:15 AM]: i never told you eL RoosteR 86 [1:16 AM]: i like my tight boxer briefs eL RoosteR 86 [1:16 AM]: and now these spandex shorts are a new revolution for me PuNkRoCpYrO136 [1:16 AM]: lol eL RoosteR 86 [1:17 AM]: they're so damn comfy eL RoosteR 86 [1:17 AM]: man eL RoosteR 86 [1:18 AM]: my ass looks huge in these pants haha PuNkRoCpYrO136 [1:18 AM]: lol eL RoosteR 86 [1:19 AM]: I LOVE SPANDEX SHORTS NOW IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE PuNkRoCpYrO136 [1:20 AM]: fag. eL RoosteR 86 [1:20 AM]: haha eL RoosteR 86 [1:20 AM]: they're fucking comfy eL RoosteR 86 [1:20 AM]: you women get all the good stuff eL RoosteR 86 [1:20 AM]: damnit eL RoosteR 86 [1:21 AM]: what's so wrong about me wearing spandex shorts eL RoosteR 86 [1:21 AM]: ?? eL RoosteR 86 [1:21 AM]: do you like them eL RoosteR 86 [1:21 AM]: ? PuNkRoCpYrO136 [1:21 AM]: no lol eL RoosteR 86 [1:21 AM]: why not? eL RoosteR 86 [1:21 AM]: oh yeah you like shit 5 times your size PuNkRoCpYrO136 [1:21 AM]: that or it fits just right. but chill with the spandex that is NOT for me eL RoosteR 86 [1:22 AM]: lol eL RoosteR 86 [1:22 AM]: well i like them eL RoosteR 86 [1:22 AM]: they're comfy eL RoosteR 86 [1:22 AM]: and soft
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Sunday, December 12th, 2004
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| Time: | 7:49 pm. |
| Mood: | amused. |
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aboodity
only Ally will understand that.
♥
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Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
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| Time: | 2:44 am. |
| Mood: | amused. |
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i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. i dont mumble. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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Sunday, December 5th, 2004
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"and all i know is revenge is sweet when you know that you are worthless"
so i've been bored lately.
friends: uhh i love mooj i miss ally i love tiara i like someone i call too many people lol my phone bill is like MAD money. i love my friends. muahZz i love someone i need more hangout time. i wanna have people sleep over after i redo my room in like 2 weeks.
family: my brother is sick and being annoying. i smacked him earlier he deserved it though. really. my mom is gonna buy me a new bed. and shes been ok lately no big issues. but shes mad at me for something. my dad is always working. always. so i cant talk to him. i never see him. and hes always sleeping when hes home. my sister is a bitch. she smacked me for no reason. that shit hurt. and she wont stop telling me im fat. its like "hi mel. whats up? your fat. workout. stop eating. your a horse." "thanks Gina love you too" "no problem mel" not like i dont already know these things but okay. rub it in. lol its fine. my aunt has cancer and shes dying. makes me sad.
school: fuck it
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Thursday, October 7th, 2004
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| Time: | 9:32 pm. |
| Mood: | moody. |
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fuck it... it being everything... im just sick of life itself man... family... friends drama... having to put on a fake smile and pretend its all okay... im done with this SHIT...
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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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| Time: | 8:28 pm. |
| Mood: | peaceful. |
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so theres alot of shit in my head right about now. im a loser and i know it. so school starts and i have like these lists in my head. lists of people i miss or hate or cant live without or piss me off or.people who. are perfect. in my eyes.
and like.. theres alot of anger surfacing and its showing. i've been a bitch and i dont mean to be. really. and school hasnt hit me yet. end of summer hasnt hit me yet. soon. it will soon.
i keep thinking of the song 'crashing down' and i only think about that song when i feel like life is failing. like life is going back. back to october. like its ending. slowly and painfully. so much shit on my mind. and i cant control it
but on a happy? note. my mom and i are cool. no not my real mom. forget that shit. theres a lutheran show on friday. miguels picking me up tuesday. uhmm. i saw spanky. athenas fury is finally playing a show friday. i think im done. i think im done. - mel p.s.- listening to slipknot gets me amped up and hyper. shit
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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
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| Time: | 2:59 am. |
| Mood: | thoughtful. |
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my fears.. i'm afraid of alot of things :(
Achluophobia — darkness or the dark Aeroacrophobia — open high places Ankylophobia — immobility of a joint Athazagoraphobia — being forgotton, being ignored, or forgetting Automatonophobia — ventriloquist's dummies or wax statues Claustrophobia — confined or small spaces Cleisiophobia — being locked in an enclosed place Coulrophobia — clowns Gephydrophobia — crossing bridges Merinthophobia — being bound or tied up Murophobia — mice Pnigerophobia — choking of being smothered Potamophobia - large bodies of water
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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
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everything is going wrong right now. i have been crying for like a day
my.eyes.BURN.from.crying.them.dry...AND. my.wrists.are.dry..from.BURNING.them.blistered.
people arent talking to me for shit i didnt do. i dont even know why they arent talking to me. its like they are mad just cuz im around or something.
robbie hasnt called me or talked to me in a long time but whatever man fuck it im giving up.
me and bryan got into a biiiiig argument about his smoking. and I CRIED FOR 4 HOURS from 3 to like 7. and i think he took everything the wrong way but that kid is my brother and i would die for him in a heartbeat and i thought the same from him but now im starting to think our friendship is fading. but yea that just makes me wanna cry more.
my moms cousin is dying..
im such a wreck right now but whatever no one wants to hear me complain like a two year old so bye.
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Monday, August 23rd, 2004
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| Time: | 2:55 am. |
| Mood: | tired. |
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today- chilled at mi casa with stinky art ad peepeenator then we went to the eating place. then we went to moojs house and met up with marcel chris spanky and sammy (rooster sammy) then hung out etc etc.
tomorrow- gonna chill at mi casa whoever comes comes. spanky and sammy(rooster) should be stopping by tomorrow night cuz i want my rings back and sammy wants his hat.
tuesday- nothing planned yet
wed.- supposed to go to the zoo with stephen art peepeenator and other people i invite
thursday- wanna chill with malinder mi love
friday- nothing planned i dont think.. friday night possibly chilling with shana MOOJ COMES HOME
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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
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| Time: | 1:31 pm. |
| Mood: | contemplative. |
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mooj is leaving to va. tomorrow..... jissa is coming home from tn. tuesday... im leaving tomorrow night(if i wanna go) for rhode is. thats 3 days then i get to see my jissa then i gotta visit my newborn cousin
i bought a black light and im making everyone contribute something that is blacklight working(ya know what i mean) so yea everyone give me something blacklighty PLEASE
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